How could I forget a conversation many years ago, I had dropped by my friend and classmate, a radiologist, to have him interpret the x-ray his assistant had previously taken of my chest. For someone you have not seen since the college days, what should have been a short meeting instead turned into a lengthy chat about the old days. In the course of all, he had mentioned, during the early years, whenever any among us met up, predictable niceties like, how has one been and what has been one up to lately, were foremost in everyone’s lips. Nowadays, us boomers are instead prone to ask, who among us died already.
Think what you will, but by the makes of it, we’re a really funny bunch. Dark and brooding at times but most of all, oddly the square pegs in today’s circle holes of gens X, Y, Z and A’s.
Incidentally (or grossly, ‘as luck would have it), In this year alone, three among us have passed on to emigrate to Gandalf’s greener shores. A grade school classmate and old friend-musician, a soft-spoken college contemporary and last but never least, an ace tennis lefty buddy. The year before, some old acquaintances have gone too, then several years before that, two family members and then more old friends. My dad, who was among the latter, once told me, he had attended a school reunion (he was 90 years old then) to find out, he was the only one left in his class. I’m thinking at least now, their class beadle is happy, everyone’s present.
During the wake of our tennis buddy, I again brought up my radiologist friend’s observation of us being overly-conscious of dying (not deathly-conscious). Most were appalled and hushed me at once, stating we should not even dare talk of such morbid things, bad luck they say. I joke and say when we meet during the next wake, don’t say I didn’t warn you’. Too dark? or just being real, tell me about it.
Anyway, I read somewhere (the usual excuse when one forgets where they got it from), being open about death is actually a healthy thing. Not to delve much into the details of the why, let us just end with this reality: ignorance is never bliss. As they say, make hay while the sun shines… but be aware that it all ends too. Better yet, the hedonist credo: eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow, we die. Darker still?
Last weekend was such a happy time. The clan had, after a long while, gathered again at the old house to celebrate two of my departed parents’ great-great-great grandchildren. It has actually been a long while since the ancient mothership had again been filled with family and close friends. I’ve mentioned in passing, they must be here now, happily-looking down on us while we celebrate inside the home they left for us. At this, life and death are truly just two sides of a coin. Nothing dark about that.
