I’m always reminded of a private joke between me and a neighbor whenever I’m in a conversation with someone who has this one habit of constantly interrupting me and ending my sentences. We call him or her types, ‘psychic smartmatic’, with the last name inspired by that infamous counting machine. However, the P. S. of the world’s deadliest trick up their sleeves thus far, is they like to believe they have gotten your number down pat. For example, if in the past, you’ve erred at something, they would right away assume you’re really wired that way and beat you to it with a comment, even before you’ve done something. “Oh, don’t tell me you’re leaving the lights on again when you leave your work area ha? “They must be direct descendants of those high school wisecracks whose talent is to give nicknames to everyone.
Aside from their psychic ability, their opinions are like superglue, sets in seconds and quite permanent. It’s silly to ask why they’re like that. It must be, they’re the ones who are wired differently. However, Mr. & Ms. Smartmatics aren’t really a rare breed. The only reason why there appears to be a few of them in our periphery is that God must’ve scattered them so evenly, they don’t bump into each other, but not before pestering several hundreds between them. But of course, their quota extends beyond those unfortunate ones.
If you must know, there are those among us who believe they are much better than the proliferation of grammar police who co-exist in the same universe. These are a different breed that ranks way above the PS in terms of superiority. However, if one chose between the two, the psychics, though neck to neck in irritation value, are more amusing and more tolerable than their snobbier counterpart. Yes, they may be a bit irritating, but that’s only because of that air of pretense where they assume to know you so well. One could even fondly treat them as spoon-feeders , because, in a sense, they like to put words in your mouth.
Going back to our private joke, it’s not a joke really, but just a kind of teasing. It’s in Visayan though and if you’re interested, connect the two words of the title. So if in the future, you happen to meet our PS, you know what to say if you like to call them out. But be gentle in laying it down though, the fact that they’re now rare, deserves a little respect.
