BY HASMEYYA L. TIBORON
INCLUSIVITY is hard. No matter how much you try to be inclusive, you cannot listen to one group without enraging the other groups that don’t want them to be seen and heard.
Some people on the internet, including advocates of Comprehensive Sex Education (CSE), accuse religious people of shoving back the progress of this country. They blame us for the detriment of holding onto culture and traditions as if they are making a new one on their own. But if they only look closely, they attempt to grasp a culture, too. The difference is they emulate the culture of others -Western cultures.
I know it’s inevitable, we’ve been colonized for so long we can’t tell what’s ours and what isn’t anymore. We mimic their skin color, master their language, and laugh at those who can’t follow along. We imitate their behaviors and norms and then make laws that will make it seem like their culture is our own. We see this coming, -institutionalizing premarital sex and friendly sex- we’re just not ready for it would be this soon. Because of this obsession, it’s only a matter of time when, like in the American culture, drug use will be normalized here too,
I am a young mother with no village. Every day, I try to make decisions about what their upbringing would be. I constantly ask myself how I can influence their behavior without controlling them, or how I can manage their environment and still allow them to think for themselves, and when they grow up. And when they grow up, how can I prepare myself to watch them live their own lives and still be whole so that I won’t constantly remind them that their paradise lies beneath my feet?
You cannot make the world safer for your children, all you can do is to make them tough enough to face its harm. I once thought that this meant exposing them to a multitude of ideas and perspectives, including the ones that challenged mine. But as I see the world as it is and the condition of humankind living in it, I’ve finally understood why there are certain concepts you don’t wish your children to encounter before they are grounded at their core, including the danger of their lust.
The majority of the population in the Philippines follow Christianity. Though I follow Islam, a religious minority in the Philippines, it also shares the same belief as Christianity about fornication as “gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and human sexuality”. Both believe that sexual intercourse is sacred because it is the closest thing you can ever be to someone. They both, in the varying success of their followers, treat sexual intercourse more than a physical activity; it is a spiritual bond between two people who vowed before God. Although masturbation is not explicitly mentioned in the bill, we were alarmed by the term “international standards” because American schools that implement CSE curriculum, Chicago for instance, teach sexual intercourse as early as fifth grade.
The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) created CSE in response to the rising number of HIV. It teaches students how to make healthy decisions about their bodies, their sexualities, and relationships. The problem with this is it regards premarital sex as a normal activity, and STIs and teen pregnancy are only its unwanted consequences. After teaching about reproductive health, these schools proceed to teach sexual technicalities without covering the morality aspect of sex.
Some schools, like Chicago, New York, and several others, even provide free condoms in school clinics as part of the Condom Availability Program (CAP). This only regards sex as a human need, almost as basic as food and drinks, that we should respond to any time we want. I am not trying to impede anyone’s sexual freedom but given the prevailing religious belief in the Philippines that upholds abstinence, obliging all teachers and institutions both private and public, to teach it despite their personal beliefs might contradict the “cultural sensitivity” the bill claims to be.
With that being said, I do not live in Utopia. I intend to teach my daughter about her body, too. I intend to teach her to scream and make a scene when someone would ever touch her private body parts even if it’s a family. With the prevalence of abusers and predators today, the need to inform our children of their sexuality and sexual boundaries is stronger than ever.
In the past weeks, the discussions on sex education have been framed as black and white, “you are either one of us or against us”. We forget that, despite the difference in the lens we use, we’re all thinking about the future of our children. I hope that our legislators would consider Abstinence-Plus Education, the other type of sex education curriculum that teaches sexual abstinence, and while providing scientific information about condoms, and STI prevention. In this way, we all can embrace our identity and still be a part of the wider world.
————————————————————————————
Hasmeyya L. Tiboron, 26, lives and writes in Cotabato City. She currently works in the Bangsamoro Government, has a degree in Philosophy, and is currently taking a master’s degree. She adheres to the orthodox peaceful version of Islam and is against terrorism in all its forms. Her opinions do not necessarily reflect her religion or the people and institutions she is connected with.
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COMMENTARY | Safe sex is only done within marriage
BY HASMEYYA L. TIBORON
INCLUSIVITY is hard. No matter how much you try to be inclusive, you cannot listen to one group without enraging the other groups that don’t want them to be seen and heard.
Some people on the internet, including advocates of Comprehensive Sex Education (CSE), accuse religious people of shoving back the progress of this country. They blame us for the detriment of holding onto culture and traditions as if they are making a new one on their own. But if they only look closely, they attempt to grasp a culture, too. The difference is they emulate the culture of others -Western cultures.
I know it’s inevitable, we’ve been colonized for so long we can’t tell what’s ours and what isn’t anymore. We mimic their skin color, master their language, and laugh at those who can’t follow along. We imitate their behaviors and norms and then make laws that will make it seem like their culture is our own. We see this coming, -institutionalizing premarital sex and friendly sex- we’re just not ready for it would be this soon. Because of this obsession, it’s only a matter of time when, like in the American culture, drug use will be normalized here too,
I am a young mother with no village. Every day, I try to make decisions about what their upbringing would be. I constantly ask myself how I can influence their behavior without controlling them, or how I can manage their environment and still allow them to think for themselves, and when they grow up. And when they grow up, how can I prepare myself to watch them live their own lives and still be whole so that I won’t constantly remind them that their paradise lies beneath my feet?
You cannot make the world safer for your children, all you can do is to make them tough enough to face its harm. I once thought that this meant exposing them to a multitude of ideas and perspectives, including the ones that challenged mine. But as I see the world as it is and the condition of humankind living in it, I’ve finally understood why there are certain concepts you don’t wish your children to encounter before they are grounded at their core, including the danger of their lust.
The majority of the population in the Philippines follow Christianity. Though I follow Islam, a religious minority in the Philippines, it also shares the same belief as Christianity about fornication as “gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and human sexuality”. Both believe that sexual intercourse is sacred because it is the closest thing you can ever be to someone. They both, in the varying success of their followers, treat sexual intercourse more than a physical activity; it is a spiritual bond between two people who vowed before God. Although masturbation is not explicitly mentioned in the bill, we were alarmed by the term “international standards” because American schools that implement CSE curriculum, Chicago for instance, teach sexual intercourse as early as fifth grade.
The United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) created CSE in response to the rising number of HIV. It teaches students how to make healthy decisions about their bodies, their sexualities, and relationships. The problem with this is it regards premarital sex as a normal activity, and STIs and teen pregnancy are only its unwanted consequences. After teaching about reproductive health, these schools proceed to teach sexual technicalities without covering the morality aspect of sex.
Some schools, like Chicago, New York, and several others, even provide free condoms in school clinics as part of the Condom Availability Program (CAP). This only regards sex as a human need, almost as basic as food and drinks, that we should respond to any time we want. I am not trying to impede anyone’s sexual freedom but given the prevailing religious belief in the Philippines that upholds abstinence, obliging all teachers and institutions both private and public, to teach it despite their personal beliefs might contradict the “cultural sensitivity” the bill claims to be.
With that being said, I do not live in Utopia. I intend to teach my daughter about her body, too. I intend to teach her to scream and make a scene when someone would ever touch her private body parts even if it’s a family. With the prevalence of abusers and predators today, the need to inform our children of their sexuality and sexual boundaries is stronger than ever.
In the past weeks, the discussions on sex education have been framed as black and white, “you are either one of us or against us”. We forget that, despite the difference in the lens we use, we’re all thinking about the future of our children. I hope that our legislators would consider Abstinence-Plus Education, the other type of sex education curriculum that teaches sexual abstinence, and while providing scientific information about condoms, and STI prevention. In this way, we all can embrace our identity and still be a part of the wider world.
————————————————————————————
Hasmeyya L. Tiboron, 26, lives and writes in Cotabato City. She currently works in the Bangsamoro Government, has a degree in Philosophy, and is currently taking a master’s degree. She adheres to the orthodox peaceful version of Islam and is against terrorism in all its forms. Her opinions do not necessarily reflect her religion or the people and institutions she is connected with.
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