Having worked non-stop, with only a couple of months’ break after giving birth, I feel how most working moms try to fulfill the so-called work-life balance that is so popular today.
Ah, the working Filipino mom. This conjures an image of a woman juggling bags of groceries, walking past a pile of laundry, and a chorus of requests and tantrums echoing in the background – while somehow radiating a quiet strength and ability to find missing socks. Now, having reached the age where we can pause and reflect on these experiences, my Swiss Deli breakfast friends realize we are the unwitting stars of a daily sitcom that swings wildly between heartwarming and utterly slapstick.
Let’s be honest; the life of a working mom anywhere is a tightrope walk over cliffs of responsibilities. Our cultural expectations layer an extra level of complexity onto an already demanding life. We are not just expected to excel professionally and nurture our families; we are also the keepers of tradition, the emotional anchors, and often, the financial backbone of an extended clan.
Our mornings begin before fingers of light play on the curtains, a frantic dance of preparing a hearty breakfast, baon and snacks for lunch, and ensuring everyone has their bags and things in order. Oftentimes, we leave our own important things behind and get chided for being forgetful or, worse, showing early signs of dementia.
The workday is a temporary respite from home emergencies, a chance to engage our brains in tasks that consume a different kind of energy. But even in the midst of completing a report, our thoughts drift to – what are the school supplies I need to buy, what is the schedule of the dentist? These thoughts persist.
The return home is where the real magic happens. The house, in our absence, often resembles a post-fiesta aftermath. Homework needs navigation (sometimes requiring Mr. Google for the more modern subjects), dinner needs to materialize from thin air, and the emotional needs of children, spouses, and sometimes even visiting relatives need tending to. We are therapists, chefs, tutors, and household managers, all rolled into one, often fueled by nothing more than sheer willpower and the faint hope of a quiet moment with a cup of chamomile tea after everyone is asleep.
And let’s not forget the guilt. Oh, the ever-present, uniquely maternal Filipino guilt. Are we spending enough time with the kids? Are we honoring our elders sufficiently? Are we contributing enough to the family coffers? This internal monologue plays on a loop, a relentless soundtrack to our already chaotic lives.
Yet, amidst this glorious, slightly hysterical circus, there is an undeniable strength and a deep well of love. We find humor in the everyday absurdities – the creative excuses for unfinished homework, the never-ending quest for matching socks. We celebrate the small victories – a good grade, a heartfelt “thank you,” a moment of genuine connection amidst the chaos. And we lean on our support networks – our own mothers, our titas, our fellow working moms who understand the unique blend of pride and exhaustion that comes with the territory.
We, the working Filipino moms, are not superheroes, though sometimes it certainly feels like we’re trying out for the role. We are simply women navigating the beautiful, messy, and often overwhelming realities of modern life, armed with a deep love for our families, an unwavering work ethic, and a uniquely Filipino spirit that allows us to find joy and laughter even in the midst of the pandemonium. So, the next time you see a working Filipino mom, take a moment to appreciate the incredible balancing act she performs daily. And maybe, just maybe, offer her a hot cup of coffee latte– she’s definitely earned it.
