With apologies to American humorist Erma Bombeck, it’s not about the grass being greener near her neighbor’s septic tank. The intended proverb which pertains to having that mindset about other people having anything better than our own, appears as though it hasn’t lost its universal potency one bit. More so with the internet age upon us, the natural fancy of comparing one’s self to others has all but been seen in the negative, and then turned into the norm, second only to dopamine addiction.
In a recent conversation with a visiting teacher and also childhood friend now assigned to a neighboring province, our most-discussed topic in that encounter had been a continuing grumbling dynamics among teachers about their salary grades and corresponding abilities. She laughs that it has come to a point where their faculty room has become like a library, because of the deathly silence within and their personal desks turned into individual fox holes. She adds that there’s not much help from the department heads either, who like her fellows, have little turf wars of their own too. Because of all these, she was seeking advice about trying her luck here in the city.
It cannot be helped when we compare what we have, be they material things or abilities, with properties possessed by other people. Most often, we’re not even aware that we do (like an application running in your android’s background). Part of that might stem from one’s natural tendency to improve ourselves. I’m of the belief that the fascination only turns into a negative trait when it crosses into envy. For one, I’m always wishing I could be as good as others who write or play music so well. Only remedy available for the former is of course, to read as many authors as one can read. And much later, to try and study how they construct their work.
This had been part of our afternoon chat; distinguishing between innocent aims at bettering ourselves to wasting energy on looking at other people’s attainments as unfairly bestowed. We’ve even recited desiderata’s “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself” and “comparison is the thief of joy”. As useless, regarding the tiffs in the classrooms, I joked that if you can’t be a peacemaker and toxic gas is really all around, then move on over here. Though I’m not promising the turf here is greener.
