While it may not mean anything for some, being self-righteous and dutiful sometimes can rub other people the wrong way. (Right away, I’m imagining some familiar necks a-stretching and wagging a finger, while at the same time mouthing, who cares? )
Truth is, without meaning to, the aura we put out can sometimes offend or make others uncomfortable, especially when we’re in unfamiliar territory and hardly anybody knows us. Most often, this can be enough for them to shy away or worse, nurture that wrong impression of you; which in the future, they might share with intimate friends or other people. Again, who cares, right?
As one friend says, who knows, we might be walking around and not be aware we’ve already darts for eyes following our backs. In the local slang, it’s being unaware we’ve become headless in the eyes of other people.
A close friend once intimated, at times I just wish I had more people to talk to, not just a small unit of three, whom I feel, despite having problems of their own, still patiently bears with my many moods and idiosyncrasies. Though sad that she might feel that way, I could not muster the nerve to tell her straight, it might have something to do with her being a tad blunt and straightforward at times, with lack of regard for other people’s feelings. No brakes, we like to call such behavior. While I may be guilty as charged here, for me, it’s not a question of just being frank. Through the years, I’ve morphed into being selective at poking into others’ business. They might be offended.
Long ago, at the courts, a similar situation may have unfolded, but I was bolder enough back then to advise a buddy, some players were sometimes displeased with his arrogant and aggressive posturing at times. I thought he honestly gave it serious thinking but nothing changed since that conversation. So I kept a safe distance after that.
Often I sense that such “posturing” needs to be gleaned other than at face value. As with my other friend, there’s definitely an Eleanor Rigby type of loneliness lurking inside somewhere and it’s all just defense mechanism propped behind her bold front. That might spell the same with everyone. And that yells a lot.
I wrote a song many years ago in Tagalog but when translated, the first lines say, if you laugh at my jokes and antics, consider that all these are just parts of a mask I wear…
