For those familiar with ‘keeping up with the Joneses’, an idiomatic expression which was quite popular in the 60s, it’s no surprise the saying still holds true until today. The tendency of comparing oneself to another person or group of people as a means to gauge or compare one’s social status, appears to be as common as the colds, notably especially among the younger generations. Simply explained, it’s a fascination to keep abreast with what the other is having, if not better. By chance, I met an old high school mate of mine at a local mall and for a brief time, that had been part of our conversation.
Coming from a hardworking, middle-class Chinese family and growing up in Davao all his life, he observed that children at the present time are unlike those that grew up in the sixties or the seventies. During those times, he said kids, particularly those of Chinese descent, were raised different than their local pinoy counterparts, even at an early age. They’ve lesser playtime and were strictly supervised in their studies. (I noticed in our grade school years, they excelled in Math and the sciences.)
Nowadays, awash with so many distractions such as social media, available toys and electronic gadgets of all kinds, most of the young have become complacent, entitled, spoiled and needy. While it may be true wanting to be up-to-date with present trends is common among (children of) all generations, it is the accessibility which makes all the difference. Nowadays, because of the advancements in technology, marketing and other systems, almost anything has become more attainable than they were 30 years ago. Because of these, the tug at materialistic attraction is much stronger, especially for the impressionable new gens of today.
Yet, through it all, he says the youth are really not to blame. He adds, ‘children will be children’. Nor is it social media or the internet the culprit.
“I believe that because of our generation’s strict upbringing by our parents, our elders and the schools, when the time came for us to turn into parents ourselves, we might’ve generally vowed our kids should never have to experience what we’ve gone through as a generation.”
This regret whereby parents now feel they have to become a friend to their kids and not be a difficult-to-reach disciplinarian is the fountain from which kids are the way they are today. To add, this sentiment “I wish I were a better parent” and the goal that “I want to be one” are the springboard from where all difficulties come from. “The way my son and daughters discipline their kids, it’s without ramifications or consequences. Apos, smart as they are, grow up thinking they can get away with anything.“ Indeed, after this litany, I’m curious if unlike the old ways, has parenting lost its backbone?
I was almost sure he would drift off to “in our day…”
