I remember during our college years, my friend Vernon gave us this little piece of advice: if you are having a hard time choosing, it is better to pick one at random, and then make it work. (Thinking about it now, t’was a funny thing to say) At the time, another friend was undecided whether he should get married or not. Vern had added that, if in the event the option he chose didn’t work out, (he actually advised) move on to the second one. Ahh, that free love 70s vibe. And impressionable as I was during those early days, I had then thought, wow, these were words of wisdom indeed. “Make it work”. Truth be told, I made it one of my guiding principles for a good many years and I admit to practicing it from time to time. For a while. I think.
Then as years went by, I finally realized that while it may have been applicable in some situations, when taken in the context of other things in life, it was an absolutely nonsensical credo to go by. Take choosing electoral candidates for example, but I promised not to go there. On the whole, this concept of bentot-bentot (localese equivalent for heads-or-tails) becomes nothing but a childish exercise, especially when in the same room with other more scientific ways of arriving at a decision. But enough of this, I never intended this piece to be about tools for analysis and other boring subjects anyway. It’s just that the bentot-bentot story reminded me of Vern, my college buddy who had already passed away.
On the subject of friends, the years had indeed proven the passage of time could be both sad and painful. In one year alone, I had lost four friends. At this, you can’t just simply turn the page and move on. The clichéd concept that booze aids one to heal, as dramatically portrayed in movies, is just but one of those other nonsense ideas similar to bentot-bentot. Unlike what others believe, pain is never really gone; it just settles down to a dull ache. As the poem goes, pain sleeps lightly too.
On a happier note, other old friends had moved on as well, but to greener pastures, like old cows. I regularly see some of them still hamming it up on social media, flashing their pearly whites like movie stars. Fittingly, Babe’s master would say, “Well done, pig.” because that’s what they look like now. One way or another, we have all moved on, I guess. For better or for worse. Bentot or no bentot.
