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FORTY-SOMETHING FIRST-TIME MOM | Confessions of an angry mama

I WAS on retail therapy during the pandemic. It was one of those really bad days. My child had a meltdown. I blew my top. And it wasn’t a picture meant to be for a Johnson’s baby powder ad. To soothe myself, I went to Shopee to buy whatever first thing it peddled to me. Now I’m really sure my smartphone is spying on me because why on earth would it show me an item called Angry Mama? 

It was a microwave cleaner. Basically, it’s like a small bottle where you can put in a mixture of vinegar and water. And it has a cap that has holes so that steam can come out to clean inside the microwave oven. The manufacturer could have just designed a minimalist version, you know, just a regular cylinder, which will work the same way. But, no. They just had to make it look like a cartoon character. And not the cute kind. This one’s got a middle-aged mom hairdo as the cap, a scowling mommy face, with two handles shaped like mommy arms on the waist. It really looked angry. And it was an Angry Mama – tough on dirt and grime. I didn’t know if I would be overjoyed to discover a perfect product for my inner domestic diva or be offended because I felt attacked. 

I have a confession to make. Behind the smiles, the laughter, and my joyful portrayal of motherhood on Facebook Story, there’s an angry mama inside me. Yes, I love my child more than words can express, and I cherish the moments we share. But there are times when that love is overshadowed by an overwhelming surge of anger that consumes me. 

I’m not alone, but you don’t hear this often because it’s hard to admit this when society expects mothers to be perfect, to embody the epitome of patience and selflessness. We are supposed to handle every situation with grace and calm, no matter how chaotic or frustrating it may be. But the truth is, motherhood can be incredibly challenging. The constant demands, the lack of sleep, and the feeling of never having a moment to yourself can wear down even the strongest of spirits.

There are days when the tantrums, the messes, and the endless battles over simple tasks push me to the edge. The anger wells up inside me, bubbling like a pot ready to boil over. It’s in those moments that I question myself. I wonder if I’m failing as a mother; if my anger is a reflection of my inadequacy. But deep down, I know that’s not true. My anger doesn’t define me as a mother. It’s a human response to overwhelming stress and frustration. It’s a reminder that I am human, with my own limits and emotions.

I’d like to believe that mom rage is not rooted in hatred or negativity but in a deep-rooted desire to create a better future for our children. It propels us to take a stand against injustices, fight for equality, and advocate for a more compassionate and inclusive society. The intensity of our anger is often a reflection of the depth of our love for our children. It’s a testament to the passion we have for their well-being and happiness. We challenge societal norms, we question the status quo, and we demand a better world for our children to grow up in. 

Angry mamas love fiercely because we refuse to settle for anything less than the best for our little ones. And perhaps, the designer of that microwave cleaner was right. We really do need Angry Mamas to clean up this toxic world. 


Jill Palarca is a licensed professional teacher specializing in Media and Information Literacy, and is also currently the chairperson of Media Educators of Mindanao. She is mom to angels Meryl and Lyanna, and rainbow baby, Andrea.


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