“MY FATHER is as tall as the coconut tree”, said my 8-year-old nephew who has never seen his biological father. His bragging reminded me of what my colleague at work said about what she thought of her father while she was a little child, “I used to believe, as a child, that my father was the tallest man in the city.” she said.
As a child, I also felt like everything would be alright whenever my father was around, and so I understood my then-7-year-old daughter when she said, “If Dad would be the president, our country will never have problems.” In the eyes of my young child, her father can do everything – incredible and invincible. Unfortunately, we grow up and realized that our father is not as perfect as the person we used to look up to or imagine. He has flaws and shortcomings. Nevertheless, we keep that respect and honor simply because he is our father. We forgive because we are now more understanding and have accepted the truth that no one is perfect, and that we all fall short.
Sad to say, not all children have a good father figure. Some grew up with absentee fathers, irresponsible fathers, abusive fathers, or fathers who are just struggling in life who also grew up without a good father model. I have a friend who struggled to trust the goodness of God because of her father’s character. “I don’t want to relate to God as the heavenly Father because I couldn’t trust my own father. I don’t even want to be near him” she said. Another friend also related to me an account of how he planned to poison his father because of so much hatred in his heart.
The article’s title may seem cute for a Father’s Day tribute, but this comes with so much weight and depth to many people. Here’s sharing some accounts from friends:
My dad left me when I was 12; it destroyed my dreams of a happy family and a happy life (at the time). Being the eldest, I was forced to grow up quickly against my will because I was the only person my mom could rely on to take care of the house and my sister. This also made it difficult for me to understand God’s fatherly love since it was something I haven’t known for a while. Growing up, I took it upon myself to grow in the Lord and accept His love regardless of whether I know the feeling of a father’s love or not, and He did not fail me. He has given me the comfort and peace that defies all the circumstances that my situation brought. Also, my early sense of independence gave me the maturity to come to terms with what I do not have and set my eyes on the One who’s been with me whenever I feel like my lost, 12- year-old self. –Sophia Gacutan, student
I hated my father as much as he hated me. There was a point in my life when I almost killed my father by poisoning him. That hatred led me to rebellion, and I made a vow that when I become a father myself, I will never be like him.
Things changed when I became aware of the transformational process that God was doing in my life. I started to realize that I was a self-centered person and all I wanted for my father was to accept me for who I was. As my realization of God’s love for me grew deeper, God filled my heart with so much love for my father and I began to forgive him. I realized that the things that he had done to me in the past were part of his struggle being a father of 9 children. It must have been so stressful for him taking care of all of us while fighting life in poverty. Now I realized why I felt all those unfairness and lack of fatherly attention. He had spread himself so thinly to cover all of us under his care.
Today, I realized that being a father is not an easy job. I cannot do it with my own power and strength. Whatever challenges that may come to my family, I know I will be able to handle them because there is God who is willing to help me. – Pablo Guiwanon, Jr., ALS teacher
I thought of God as a disciplinarian who sets rewards for good deeds and punishment for sins. And that He is also loving, reliable, and trustworthy; One ready to carry me on his shoulders in muddy paths, put me to sleep, watch over me, teach me things and trust me to gain mastery of anything I’m passionate about. He is the only one I can share my feelings and secrets safely and who would love me no matter what happens.
As my faith deepens, the misconceptions were corrected and transformed into the faithful character and revelation of God. But the childlike excitement to sit on my father’s lap is founded in my childhood memories. It is important to fill our memories of a nurturing childhood with our earthly father, as it greatly influences how we perceive God when we are on our own. – Queenie Liwat, Community Development Worker
