No one really teaches a child to walk. You can only show it how. Perhaps the most you could do would be to hold its hands and gently guide it along the path. That encouragement may as well be enough, and whatever follows might fall under the category of doting. That much, we know about too well. After all, everyone has been so brought up in a world dominated by endless what-to-dos- and how-tos, in the end, we all eventually turn up prone to automatically spoon-feed those we hope to teach next.
It is quite unfortunate that has always been the thread, that as you have been taught your start up one-two-three’s, you move on and parrot this is how it should go. As we all say, you know the drill. At this, the maxim ‘the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree’ has deep social basis after all.
In a sense, the same might be said when attempting to cultivate confidence in the growing child. One can’t just simply hold its hands, say ‘be confident’, then expect them to right away grasp the totality of that. For one, the question looms in the back of one’s mind always; when should parents start weaning children from being dependent on them?
Old school as it may seem, the belief that too much doting creates in any child feelings of incapability and insecurity, is still being heard today. There has been so many changes through the years, with the approaches in imparting such being disproven one after the other. Thus, each generation now has its own kit to follow. In the old days, children were not as pampered as they are today. One was pretty much left on their own, learn as you go, with minor tweaks. With the new, it’s light years from that. With the advent of newer approaches in rearing, plus modern technology, the older generation may still attempt at their old ways and values but the younger gens will, if ever gently, debunk these as already not for this time. No right or wrong answers on this one? The jury’s still out people. We only have to look at results.
How thin is the line between holding a child’s hand and ‘letting go’? In figuring how to build confidence in a child, it’s suggested we appreciate their uniqueness first and then celebrate what makes them so. After all, isn’t it that uniqueness and diversity are actually our untapped power, the source of all confidence?
