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HONORING MY MOTHER | Jogging the memory

 

 

 

IT HAD been nine years ago when our family of three excitedly participated in an open fun run around the university campus. Sad to think that now, not only does it literally feel like many ages ago, but in terms of my own personal ability to do outdoor-sy stuff, there is still that utter disbelief and resentment that, once upon a time, I was able to do that. So casual and ordinary then, a whammy of a revelation that it has become a super-human feat for me now. What’s in store nine years from now then?

Thing is, Facebook Memories, that stoic alarm clock that reminds you daily of what you did, whether last summer or whenever, can blindly be a cruel master indeed. It doesn’t purposely mean to, in a way, but it is mean and heartless. While one has a choice in whether to ignore it or not, its job of calling you out and tempting you to see how far you’ve gone through time, still tickles one’s fancy every time. So, it’s really like curiosity killed the cat on this one.

The past indeed can at times seem so far away. Then also, it may seem as though some bits of it never really happened at all. On the other hand, tomorrow, be it a mere second away, or the next morning one is lucky to wake up to, is a blind corner each time, because you don’t know what to expect with each twisting turn.

Once, while watching a particular point play out in a tennis match online, I had instinctively thought, I could do that. Then after a while, with rethinking all done, I took it all back and surrendered maybe then, but now, I wish. In the vernacular we like to say, “Nung alaw” (back then) and indeed, during the earlier seasons and versions of me, I could play tennis the whole day. But in this present time, I’m just ready to accept the verdict, the mind may be willing, but the body is not.

Going back to that playful jog around campus long ago, I don’t remember now, was it a 3-k or 5-k? the rest of the studentry I know, had gone the whole gamut of 5, so ours must have been the shorter 3. My partner and I discussed, if they could schedule another one this year despite the pandemic and even with a social distancing format, will I last, you think? Perhaps, I might still be able to make it a few meters from the starting line, but then walk the rest of the way. Who cares? So what if I finish the whole race during the early evening? I might even decide to walk the rest of the way until I reach home… 

 

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