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Honoring My Mother: Seeing Things

Difficult times are made more difficult if seen through negative eyes. And almost too often, when all those things that go swishy really hit the fan, there is just no other word except “negative”, that is too close enough to describe when one sees red in all that’s out there. 

While I have always admired people who were as cool as a coco lumber (cucumbers are boring and passè), the labeling part of one’s childhood, officially instigated by the adults in and outside the family during our growing up years, had for most part, deeply branded in me that I should therefore be a difficult child. Who knows, while it may have been an attempt to please them and accede to their predictions, it had been a choice on my part nevertheless, and that is just how society works or screws with you.

No matter, working the reins on any bad day, with devils in your head, is never always that easy. Often, it is like drunkenly attempting to walk Johnny Cash’ proverbial straight line. Luckily however, I only have to look sideways, at some people nearby, who are on the same life road trip and then, that enough, becomes my sources of inspiration.

I was just reading through a post of an old friend whom I have known as a grouchy mom back in Oz. At least that was what I thought then. Realizing my mistake only now, I may not have really known her that well after all. That must be because, moms are, throughout all of creation, the most unique creatures there are. For one, their growls and teeth-baring, while giving off warning vibes to outsiders, can in fact, turn out itself on and off, to reveal a defensive armor that also conceals the sensitive side living within. When I first knew her as my boss, a no-nonsense facade had always been the norm, and for most part she appeared to be the perfect inspiration for that Prada-wearing devil movie. Later on, with the coming of grandchildren, the softer shades, which I suspected were there all along, especially when she was with her daughters at the time, gradually shone, as though through a break in the clouds.

During the many instances in the past, in my salutations to other strong women and moms, including my own, I had always brought out these dual traits that have uniquely been possessed by all of them. They likewise brings to mind the women soldiers of Frank Herbert’s Dune, the sisterhood who boast of an efficient soldierly attribute, in contrast to humane-ness and unyielding empathy. 

It is during these ridiculously endless, craze-inducing, and trying times therefore, when even the mere whiff of fresh air seems like an old memory, that our recollections of these strong moms should always read like a bunch of good books on rainy days. Truly, inspirations and good vibes are harder to come by these days, and often, they are replaced by diversions that disguise themselves as inspirations and timely aids to get us by. 

As such, it should therefore be during these moments that, while even as negativity seems to color the days, we still find it immensely valuable to firmly grasp at the good things that are certain.

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