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Honoring my Mother | Chug-chug

Looking at the calendar, it seems so unreal when you realize that there are no more stops between now and Christmas. In your mind, it feels like you’ve just left the station and it’s a one straightaway path ahead towards the yuletide destination. So odd to think that, same time last year, the feeling of a slowly rising sense of panic has returned, like a chug-chugging sound of a train slowly gaining momentum. Stop the train!.

It’s just so good that nowadays, for some Christmas shopping, you can order online to save on time. However, if one thinks about it, time is not really a cozy BFF during this straightaway deadline to Dec.25. For one, there’s the growing anxiety that comes with it, while you wait for your orders to come. Will the delivered goods be of the same types that I saw on the webpage? Is there a scam in the works somewhere? Did I get the colors right? Did THEY get the colors right? How about my address? In other words, all those normal things a pessimistic old fart likes to dwell on, on a daily basis.

In comparison, you know actual shopping at the malls by this time of year, with the growing Davao crowd, will already begin to involve long lines to the cashier and the taxi waiting areas much later. Already wise to that, you slowly wean your senior self from the inconvenience (and the unpleasant memories of past xmas shopping sprees), and would rather opt to stay home instead. Besides, your feet are not the same as they used to be like say, a year before.

So like the good dog, you learn to SIT. That new-found ‘exercise’ eases the chugging in your mind a bit and for a few secs, all is well. Then your mind wanders to your present state that, it is just too bad that unlike other lucky granny people, your grandchildren are not within arms’ reach always, otherwise, sitting would not be such a boring chore at all. No wonder, old dogs sleep all day.

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