A friend once quipped, why do some people with straight hair desire curly locks, while at the same time, those with curls want theirs done straight? The same could be said when referring to the younger folks today. With their rage-of-the-day being a kind of changeover fashion that is both fickle and given to imitating others, some may ask, why insist on copying Kpop hairdos or even having purple hair? My response? Like I care. As with many other things out there, it’s out of my hair. Then, as a follow-up, I could add, what is it to you?
Yet indeed, if one had nothing better to do, it might deserve a little think-about. There actually exists a study about this mindset, which prevents us from being contented with what we have, and dooms us all to always compare ourselves with others. It does not say, but that could be a motivating factor that could drive us to strive to be better. In fact, Americans (our role models) were among the forerunners of that thinking, and “keeping up with the Joneses” had been the tag for it, the alleged piston of American dream. Some psychology reads even go at length to say that this is part of our nature as humans; to believe deep down, we are not good enough. For all we know, it could be God’s playful poke.
However, the unfortunate thing is, it can also be followed by another powerful feeling that goes along the line of, “if I am not good enough, then something must be wrong with me”. Perhaps, that could be traceable to Adam and Eve’s guilt and self-doubt after eating the apple, but that’s already muddying the waters a bit.
Nevertheless, once self-doubt sets in, it eventually leads one to indulge in endless comparisons. Once we cross that, the conclusion we are inadequate takes over the wheel and road stretches on.
The poem Desiderata says it best:
“If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.” Simple enough, no Psycho 101 needed.
So, ‘Who cares’ by far, is the best option. Curly, purple, straight or bald is entirely up to you. That had been the reply I gave my friend. We all have roads to go and if I minded your roadmap, I might err in reading mine.
The more important thing that is constantly lost in all this brouhaha of comparing and striving to be better than the rest, is our general failure to appreciate and be happy for the success of others. Brushing aside our frailties and imperfections, these should instead be the qualities that will define our nature as humans.